I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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