New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
