Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
how drunk are you?
Several
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I need to align my fucking chakras
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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