Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
