I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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