You really coming over, don't trick.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
