you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
