When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
