Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
