So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
