Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
