And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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