i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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