worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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