the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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