I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
