I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
