Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
