I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
These tits shall not be calmed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
