Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
