Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
