don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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