You made me cry and you don't even care
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
