garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have demons in me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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