I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
