So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
