everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize