I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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