Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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