turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
