it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize