this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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