Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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