i just wanna soil my oats bro
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
