guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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