I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
