Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize