Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
