I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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