i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
