Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
