i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
being pregnant is like rehab
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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