if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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