Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
