I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
