i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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