these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize