i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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