I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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