THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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