You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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