Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
