benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
