Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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