if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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