Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
