he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
