I think i sorta joined a cult last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
