Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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