why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
