Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
