i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize