So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
