Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As shirtless as possible
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
