Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
