Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
